Smashwords Q & A

Sorry it's been so long since I last posted.  I've been a busy girl.  Here is a link for an interview I did with Smashwords:  https://www.smashwords.com/interview/liasomothers

 

Foster-to-adopt

If you are infertile and believe that your are on the brink of feeling that you will never have children of your own maybe it's time to start thinking about fostering a child instead.  There are so many children out there in need of a home, especially teenagers.  Most of the kids in foster care today are teenagers and the younger kids are usually snatched up by relatives.  Fostering a teenager is extremely hard work but it is so worth it in the end.  I'm living proof. (I'm a much stronger person because I went through it.) It won't feel like it at the time but your teenagers will grow into young adults and will eventually tell you how much they appreciated all that you did even when they were monsters to you.  That you didn't give up on them and that now they are able to live somewhat normal lives because of all the hard work and love that you put in to help these troubled kids out.  Even though you may think they ignore and don't notice all that you do, they do, they remember, they love you for it.  It just takes them a long time to admit it, like 6 or 7 years later, but they do and when they do it feels like a million bucks.  So when the social worker asks you what age group, try to say "Yes" to a teenager instead of saying no out of fear.  You could make a difference in a kids life today.  If I can do it, so can you.  If you have any questions, you can email me at cathie.lambert@gmail.com. 

My daughter

On October 11, 2012 we adopted our former foster daughter Eva, now 22 but was 15 when we first met her back in December 2005.  Presently, she is living with us and will soon give birth to her baby daughter, our grand-daughter.  She is due on February 18th.  My husband and I are very excited to be grandparents, especially since we never had a chance to experience little ones of our own.

Eva had a great time at her baby shower last Saturday.  I was very surprised when I didn't feel the urge to cry when I was reminded that I never got to experience what she was then experiencing.  I was so happy for her as a mother that I was simply okay and I knew that I was soon to be a grandmother and very involved in my grandchild's life.

I was briefly upset when Eva told me she was moving out after the baby was born in order to be able to live with the baby's father and try to make it own their own but I know that Eva will visit often and will sometimes need a baby sitter so I am okay.

I still can't believe I'm going to be a grandmother, it blows me away sometimes.

If anyone is interested in learning about how Eva and I first met and how our relationship got started you can read it in my book, "Lost in a Sea of Mothers: Am I a Mother Yet?" click on the Book link above or click on the ebook device you own on the upper right hand side to purchase directly. 

Facebook Fan message

"Cathie,
Thank you so much for writing your story. I was diagnosed with endo before I met my husband. I had laser removal the year before we started dating, so he never saw how bad everything actually got. But now, 4 years after surgery, I know it's coming back and I'm terrified. I just can't seem to make him understand what we're up against. I found your book last night on my Kindle and read it all in one sitting. I hope that I can convince Thomas to read it as well, because you found the words that always fail me. You were able to describe the physical and emotional pain I've felt for so long...and the fear about the effect of infertility on a marriage. So, thank you for sharing and for letting me know that I'm not alone...there are many of us facing this agony silently, too embarrassed to say anything. "

FB fan Heather-

Infertility questions I've thought about.

Do I regret not trying harder to have a baby before my hysterectomy?

• No.  I did as much as I felt I was comfortable and emotionally able to handle.  I was also realistic to the outcome ( high risk for a miscarriage).  I didn't want to spend too many days, months or years trying for something that was not a guarantee and that was making me miserable.  At the time, we didn't have the money to adopt either.

How has infertility changed my relationship with my husband?

• I know how much he loves me now.  He loved me enough to stay with me even though I wasn't able to give him any children.  We have grown stronger as a couple and have more time for each other because we never had to raise little kids.   

How has infertility changed me as a person?

• It is true when they say "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger".  I have had to go above and beyond self exploration to figure out who I am because of my infertility.  I have experienced so much heartache through the years because I always thought I would be a mother to my own child.  When I finally accepted the fact that I would never have children of my own, I went through a personal life changing shift.  Because of my infertility my book was born.  Because of my book my confidence has grown.  I have been able to connect with other people in such a way that I wouldn't have been able to if I was like everyone else.

How has going from a foster mother to an adoptive mother changed me.

•  We just adopted our 22 year old former foster daughter last week and it's been hard for me to process that she is ours now because I didn't give birth to her.  I know I love her but now I have to figure out how to be a mother instead of a foster mother.  I don't want to disappoint her.  I think I took her for granted right after she was adopted.  Similar to how some people are after they get married.  Not good.  It is still new to me and a struggle that I'm trying to undertake.  Though, I am happy that she is apart of our family now.  I don't think it has sunk in all the way yet.

Am I happy?

• Yes.  For a long time I didn't think I would ever be happy again but now that I've experienced so much in my life I can truely say that I'm happy to be alive.  When you are in your dark place you can't imagine ever being happy again, but it will come.  Maybe not right away but if you give it half a chance you might surprise yourself.

Adoption Day!

We finally received the adoption court date which is on Oct 11.  We are so excited!

New Price!

You can now purchase my book for $1.99 at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/103187

Also, very soon, you can purchase my book at Amazon kindle for only $2.99.  The changes are still being reviewed. But, at the present, it is available for $3.99 http://www.amazon.com/Lost-Sea-Mothers-Mother-ebook/dp/B006HN4RM6/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1343480678&sr=1-1&keywords=lost+in+a+sea+of+mothers